This or that?
You know the feeling.
It’s 11:30 PM. You are doom-scrolling on Amazon, and suddenly, you see it. A noise-canceling headphone that promises to silence not just the traffic outside, but arguably your own thoughts. Or maybe it’s Saturday night, and that second slice of chocolate truffle cake is looking at you with the intensity of a long-lost lover.
In that moment, a powerful wave rises. The ancient texts call it Kama (desire), but let’s just call it what it is: The Itch.
The Itch says, “If I get this, I will be happy.”
And you know what? It’s not entirely lying. You will be happy. For about fourteen minutes. Maybe twenty if the cake is really good. But then? The happiness evaporates, leaving you exactly where you were, perhaps with just a slightly lighter wallet or a heavier stomach.
This is the trap of the sensory world. It sells us rental happiness and charges us ownership prices.
But there is a little game you can play to hack this system. I call it “This or That.”
The Two Menus
Imagine life is a restaurant with only two items on the menu.
Item 1: “This”
- Ingredients: Sensory pleasures, shopping sprees, that extra glass of wine, the dopamine hit of a new gadget.
- Guarantee: Instant gratification.
- Side Effects: Transient. It fades quickly, leaving a vacuum that demands to be filled again. It is the hamster wheel of happiness.
Item 2: “That”
- Ingredients: Satchitananda (Existence-Consciousness-Bliss).
- Guarantee: Eternal peace. A subtle, unshakeable joy that doesn’t depend on what is in your driveway or your refrigerator.
- Side Effects: A sense of invincibility. The realization that you are already full.
How to Play the Game
The game is deceptively simple. The moment a craving arises—whether it’s for a new car, a harsh retort to a colleague, or just mindless consumption—you pause.
Take a breath. Create a tiny gap between the urge and the action. And in that gap, ask yourself:
“Do I want This… or That?”
Do I want the fleeting thrill of the object (“This”)?
Or do I want the eternal stability of my own Self (“That”)?
When you choose “This,” you are choosing to be a beggar, asking the world to drop a coin of happiness into your bowl.
When you choose “That,” you remember you are the Emperor.
The “That” is Always There
Here is the secret the marketing departments don’t want you to know: The peace you are looking for in the object is actually what remains when the wanting of the object drops.
When you finally buy that gadget, you feel a moment of relief. You think the gadget gave you joy. It didn’t! The gadget simply removed the craving for a moment, revealing the natural joy (Satchitananda) that was already there underneath.
So why take the detour through the shopping mall? Go straight to the source.
The Practice
Next time the urge hits, catch it mid-air.
- Craving for approval? Ask: This (someone else’s opinion) or That (my own inner fullness)?
- Craving for distraction? Ask: This (social media noise) or That (the silence of being)?
You might still choose the cake. And that’s fine! We aren’t trying to be monks overnight. But simply asking the question breaks the trance. It reminds you that you have a choice.
You are standing at the crossroads of the momentary and the eternal fifty times a day.
So, my friend… This or That?
Nalla Madras 