Life is the most elaborate practical joke ever pulled, and the punchline? Well, we’re it. Every twist, every turn, every ridiculous desire, and every existential crisis is one big cosmic “gotcha!” And what do we do? We soldier on, pretending it all makes sense. Spoiler alert: it doesn’t.Let’s break down this tragicomedy, one absurdity at a time.
Your Body: The Ultimate Lemon
The human body is a marvel of engineering—if that engineering was done by a drunk intern on their first day. Sure, it works most of the time, but it’s also ridiculously fragile.
- Stub your toe? Your entire day is ruined.
- Catch a cold? Your body turns into a snot factory overnight.
- Eat the wrong thing? Enjoy spending the next 48 hours praying to the porcelain gods.
And then there’s the grand finale—death. It’s inevitable, no matter how much green juice you drink, how many yoga classes you take, or how many supplements you shove down your throat. The irony? Most of us spend our entire lives trying to avoid the one thing that’s guaranteed to happen.
Chasing Carrots: The Never-Ending Cycle of Want
If life were a movie, desires would be the recurring villain—always popping up, always causing chaos. No sooner do you satisfy one craving than another comes stomping in like a toddler demanding attention.
Let’s break it down:
- Want a promotion? Great! But now you want to quit because your boss is unbearable.
- Want a new car? Sure, but now you need a better house to park it in.
- Want to find love? Perfect! But now you’re wondering why they leave the cap off the toothpaste every. single. time.
It’s like we’re all hamsters on a wheel, running toward a carrot that keeps moving further away. And when we finally get the carrot? Surprise! There’s another carrot right behind it.
Hormones: Nature’s Comedy Writers
Let’s talk about nature’s cruelest joke: reproduction. Nature took one look at us and said, “Here’s an idea—make them desperate to find a mate.” And then it threw in hormones to make the process even messier.
The absurdity of mating rituals:
- You dress up, swipe right, and pray the person doesn’t ghost you after you awkwardly overshare about your cat’s dental problems.
- You go on dates where you pretend to like jazz or sushi or hiking, all to impress someone who might not even like you back.
- And if it all works out, congratulations! You now have to spend the rest of your life arguing about how to load the dishwasher.
And why do we do this? Because our bodies demand it. They don’t care about love or compatibility—they just want us to pass on our genes. It’s biology, baby. And it’s ridiculous.
Loneliness: The Frenemy That Keeps Us Company
Humans are social creatures, which is just a fancy way of saying we’re terrified of being alone. That fear drives us into relationships—sometimes good, sometimes… well, not so good.
Signs you’re in it for the wrong reasons:
- You stay because “at least they text me back.”
- You ignore red flags like they’re decorative banners at a party.
- You convince yourself that everyone argues about who left the milk out for three days.
But hey, it’s better than being lonely, right? Wrong. Toxic relationships are like drinking expired milk—you know it’s bad for you, but you keep going because you’re too afraid to throw it out. And yet, we stay. Because at the end of the day, loneliness whispers, “At least expired milk is something.”
Validation: The Drug We’re All Addicted To
We all want to be special. We want to be seen, admired, and applauded. But life has other plans.
Here’s how this usually goes:
- You work hard on a project, pour your heart into it, and present it with pride.
- The response? “Hmm, it’s okay, I guess.”
- Or worse, someone says, “You should’ve done it this way instead.”
It’s like baking a beautiful cake and having someone say, “Oh, it’s a little dry.” Thanks, Brenda. I wasn’t trying to win The Great British Bake Off.And yet, we keep chasing validation, like moths to a flame. Because deep down, we all secretly hope someone will look at us and say, “Wow, you’re amazing.” Instead, they usually say, “Could you not?”
From Goo to Grief: The Bookends of Existence
Let’s talk about the two bookends of life: birth and death. Neither one is particularly pleasant.
Birth:
- You start your life being squeezed out of a human body like a tube of toothpaste.
- You’re covered in goo, crying uncontrollably, and surrounded by strangers holding scissors.
- Your first experience in the world is people poking and prodding you while you scream, “What is happening?!”
Death:
- If you’re lucky, it’s peaceful. If not, well… it’s probably embarrassing. (“He choked on a grape? Seriously?”)
- And then there’s the aftermath: people crying, awkward eulogies, and someone inevitably saying, “They’re in a better place now,” even though no one really knows.
And sandwiched between these two events is a lifetime of stubbed toes, bad haircuts, and awkward small talk at office parties. Life: the gift that keeps on giving.
Keeping Up With the Cohorts
Humans are competitive by nature. It’s why we invented things like the Olympics, reality TV, and LinkedIn.
The exhausting cycle of one-upmanship:
- Your coworker buys a new car, so now you feel like your car is trash.
- Your friend goes to Bali, so now you’re Googling “cheap flights to anywhere exotic.”
- Your neighbor renovates their kitchen, so now you’re suddenly obsessed with granite countertops.
It’s a never-ending game of “Who’s Winning at Life?” The catch? No one is. Because even if you’re on top today, someone else will outdo you tomorrow. It’s like playing Monopoly but with real money and actual tears.
There Is No Point, and That’s the Point
Life is absurd. It’s messy, chaotic, and often feels like a joke we don’t quite understand. But maybe that’s the point.
Here’s the truth:
- Life doesn’t make sense, and it probably never will.
- We’re all just winging it, pretending we have it together, while secretly Googling “how to be a functioning adult.”
- And that’s okay.
So, laugh at the absurdity. Embrace the chaos. And when life feels like it’s too much, just remember: we’re all in this ridiculous farce together. And honestly? It’s a pretty funny show.
Nalla Madras 